Friday, April 29, 2005

4 things to look for in a relationship

I participated in an interesting discussion tonight on relationships. I have been thinking lately about what has made my past relationships work and what had made them flop, and there are 4 things I currently look for when I'm dating:

1) Cultural Affinity - The movie High Fidelity covered this subject briefly. The idea of what I call cultural affinity is a shared knowledge of cultural references. People who have read the same books, seen the same movies, etc share a lot of cultural affinity. Plenty of good relationships have been built without cultural affinity, but for me, my sense of humor is tied up in cultural references. If I drop a joke in a conversation that comes from a line in an Indiana Jones movie, it really helps if she recognizes it. Cultural affinity is part of what it takes to "get" me, and vice versa.

2) Chemistry - What can be said about chemistry that hasn't been covered by Shakespeare or the great poets? I look for women I find exciting, and who find me exciting. This is the biggest deal-breaking factor for me, and for most young people, I find.

3) Shared Enthusiasm - This is something that both people are passionate about; often it's something the man and woman share with each other and not with their friends. It's a bonding element that makes the relationship unique, and makes the couple an "us". It could be a shared hobby, or a particular band that both like; a political cause, a charity, a life goal. It could just be a set of shared experiences from dating. There's no hard-and-fast rule on what it should be, but relationships without this element are usually less than what it could be. If I begin a relationship with a shared enthusiasm, the relationship normally gets much stronger much faster, and will last longer.

4) Compatible Intellect - This one is more peculiar to my relationships than most people's. I'm constantly coming up with weird ideas, theories and whatnot. I like to be able to share these with my SO and I find that smart women can communicate with me in a very high-bandwidth way that I find quite sexy. Some of my best relationships are with women who are smarter than I. It's awkward, on the other hand, being in a relationship with a woman who I don't feel like I can talk to about some things. I don't like being in a relationship where part of me is closed off from her.

In retrospect, the relationships I've been in that have flopped are the ones where one of these four was missing from the outset. This list omits a lot of things that are implied in any good relationship, romantic or not - mutual respect, good communication, etc.

Monday, April 25, 2005

How To Succeed In The World of Corporate Art: Part 3

1. Get a piece of black construction paper and a safety pin.
2. Make pinholes spelling out the phrase "You're Wonderful". Aesthetic merit isn't important here, as almost noone will be able to see the result clearly.
3. Title the result "100 things I wish someone had said to me". Something like that, anyway. Why 100? I don't know. It's one phrase. Probably any title will do so long as it's maudlin.
4. Find a corporate art buyer.
5. Profit!

(Is corporate art the lowest rung on the salable art ladder? If this gets bought by a Fortune 500 company, what gets rejected? I shudder to imagine).

Friday, April 22, 2005

How To Succeed In The World of Corporate Art: Part 2

1. Rip a blank sheet of quadrille paper from a spiral notebook.
2. Find a corporate art buyer.
3. Profit!

(True story! If I had a digicam I'd provide pictorial evidence).

Thursday, April 21, 2005

How To Succeed In The World of Corporate Art

1. Take a nice piece of 100% cotton stationary.
2. Doodle and ramble on the stationary in a nice, dark black ink.
3. Scribble repeatedly, totally obscuring 90% of the page.
4. Find a corporate art buyer.
5. Profit!

(As seen on the first floor of Building 10, Microsoft).

Headline of the Week

CNN: Teens becoming 'Generation Rx'

NEW YORK (AP) -- The nation's teenagers are increasingly trying prescription drugs such as Vicodin and OxyContin to get high, with the pill-popping members of "Generation Rx" often raiding their parents' medicine cabinets, according to the latest national study by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America.



Too bad there's nothing about the fact that kids are over-prescribed drugs in breathtaking amounts, which is frankly what I expected the article to be about. Maybe next time.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Go East, Young Man

In the wake of a lunchtime discussion about China, I was sending my friend a link to Slate's excellent series on China by Henry Blodget. I thought I'd post it here for anyone else who might be interested in a tourists-eye view of modern China.

(scroll down to the bottom of the article for links to others in the series).

Update: Also, ironically, the Economist reports that China has a labor shortage.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Unitarian Jihad Manifesto

I found out my friend Wendy attended a Unitarian church for a while. I asked what their credo was, and she couldn't tell me. Now Unitarian Jihad's Manifesto has cleared that up.

As reported to the San Francisco Chronicle:


Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.


Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Is Google News getting worse?

When news.google.com was first introduced, I loved it. It had a very broad set of content - news stories from all over the world, about subjects we hardly see in mainstream news (African despots, South East Asian economics, Chinese liberty, etc).

Google News gets their content from online papers, and decides what's hot and what's not based on the number of links to given stories. Since the introduction of Google News, Google has acquired more blogs (including this one) in order, in part, to add their links to the news calculations.

As a result, Google News looks like CNN.com now. Even though Google news allows you to have nine stories per category instead of 3 or 4, it's still 9 stories of crap. It has become yet another 90 percent phenomenon.

Monday, April 11, 2005

A typical conversation with Jackie

(Outside of a Dairy Queen):

Jackie: If you're going to make me go inside and have ice cream just to be sociable...
Me: Well, I didn't know if you want to sit and talk or-
Jackie: If you're going to make me go inside and have ice cream just to be sociable...
Me: We could always go someplace el-
Jackie: If you're going to make me go inside and have ice cream just to be sociable...
Me: I'm going inside to have an ice cream.
Jackie: Okay, I guess I'll come too.

The moral case for taxation

I met with my friend Jackie yesterday to give her copy of the Battlestar Galactica miniseries, so she could get started watching one of the best sci-fi shows ever made. We sat and talked for a couple hours, and in the course of conversation about her blog, we briefly chewed over the moral argument for taxation. Libertarians, most of them, believe that taxation is the moral equivalent of mugging. I can see the case for that but I don't quite agree. Jackie sees a pragmatic utility in taxation but not much of a moral case for it (insofar as I can characterize someone else's views on a complex issue that simply - any misreprentation of her views is my fault). I couldn't sleep last night, and when I can't sleep this is the kind of problem I like to kick around in my head like a philosophical soccer ball.

I like to think of governments beginning as a group of people banding together for common protection. In my head, I imagine an anarchic Wild West town, like Deadwood, where the residents get together and hire a sheriff in order to protect themselves from the predations of the world's most successful predator (Man). Of course, the fictional Deadwood formed a government and hired a sheriff out of external pressure instead of internal pressure, but I think the internal pressures would have required a real government nonetheless.

So, we have the model of a Wild West town that has banded together and hired a sheriff, trading the periodic loss of income inherent in taxation for the unpredictable and larger losses of income from theft and murder. For now, let's assume the vote is unanimous.

In this case, so far the tax is morally just and necessary as payment for services rendered. All of the citizens are subject to the protection of the Sheriff and are morally obligated to carry a share of that burden. Like any financial transaction, as long as the deal is fair (services rendered are worth the payment received) everything should be fine.

Now, what happens if we introduce a new person, someone who moves into town from the outside? They were not present when the Sheriff was elected. Yet they receive the same protection from the Sheriff's work. Can they morally consider themselves exempt from the tax?

In this case, I would say 'no'. Any grown person is responsible for their share of a group expense; no adult can morally recant their share of a bar bill, for example. As long as they acknowledge the value of what they've asked for, they are morally obligated to pay. In moving to a town with a Sheriff, any rational person should expect to bear part of the burden of maintaining the office.

Let's suppose they don't acknowledge the value of a Sheriff - they would rather protect themselves. Are they then exempt from the tax? Is it morally acceptable to impose the tax on someone who gains the benefit of the tax but doesn't believe in it?

I would say Yes, and this where I part ways with Libertarianism. It is a fundamental requirement of group dynamics that the group be able to set norms of behavior. Without norms, a group simply does not function. And no group larger than two people is going to always agree on the correct course of action (and those two would have to be identical twins). To disallow the setting of norms, to insist on anarchy in any sphere where unanimity is unavailable, is simply not 'good'. Bad things happen, and the whole is diminished. For the greater good, for the prosperity and survival of the group, individuals must sometimes submit to the group wisdom. While this decreases individual liberty, this increases group liberty, and the liberty of the group is more important than the liberty of the individual. The victory of Democracy is not that it makes each man a seperate entity; the victory of Democracy is that it puts the liberty of the group in the hands of the group, instead of the hands of small sets of people. And any participant in a Democracy has to be prepared for the fact that unanimity is not always possible, and that some threshold must be set for decision-making. Just as anyone who brings a suit in court has to be prepared for the fact that they might not win - it's part of what you've signed up for at the outset.

Coming back to the Sheriff analogy, the group has already decided what the Sheriff is worth, and that the Sheriff provides a value that the group needs. Anyone who joins the group needs to be prepared to accept that judgement. They need the right to argue and vote against it, but not the right to opt-out of group policies they simply don't like, like a child who threatens to take his baseball and bat home when a game doesn't go his way.

Whenever I look at the end-result of Libertarianism, I see the world of Snow Crash; a world of people who make group alliances in a vast number of spheres, by paying for or otherwise gaining entree into groups who provide individual services like protection, incarceration, etc. Everything is privatized, disjointed, and chaotic. And people are woefully unable to deal with external threats, and waste as much energy warring as collaborating. Snow Crash's world is not a world I want to live in (I just want their technology).

When I turned 18, I joined this system. I still retain my freedom to join another system anywhere else in the world, as long as they'll have me. Until then, I'm obligated to go along with those decisions made (and taxes levied) by the group for the good of the group. I can disagree and work to change the decisions, and I have the protection of the Constitution against those group decisions that would deny my fundamental rights as a citizen.

I'm all for using privatization to enhance the group in the 90 percent of cases where it works; in the 10 percent where it doesn't, I fully expect the government to work to provide those benefits - even if it means taxing Libertarians.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Note to my weekend D&D Players: Changes are a-comin'

In my weekend game, I'm introducing a series of changes to D&D that I call "D&D 4.0". I'm trying to fix the AC/BAB disparity at higher levels, and flatten out the skill system. I'm doing this in a limited campaign on a trial basis just to see if I'm right about these fixes.

1. Armor no longer provides an AC bonus. It provides damage reduction/+0 of the same value. Critical hits ignore this DR (you strike a chink in the armor). Armor bonus increases the + value of the DR. +0 indicates that a magic weapon bypasses the DR, even if it doesn't have a plus to hit.

2. Dodge is now a DEX skill. Taking the Dodge skill allows you to add your dodge skill bonus to your AC versus one target. Taking the Dodge feat allows you to apply your Dodge skill to your AC against a number of targets up to and including your DEX modifier. Using the Dodge skill is a move-equivalent action; you may use a DC10 Tumbling check to apply the dodge skill while moving (this can be combined with the DC15 Tumbling check for moving without drawing attacks of opportunity). Rogue and Ranger gain the Dodge skill as class skills - it is cross-class for all other classes (Subject to change).

3. The weapon proficiency feats are eliminated. They are replaced by skills for Simple Handheld weapons, Simple Ranged weapons, Martial Handheld weapons, and Martial Ranged weapons (this may not be the right terminology - use the category breakdown in the equipment section of the PHB). Using a weapon without a skill imparts a -4 penalty. Using a category skill reduces the penalty to -2 (so a level 1 character with 4 ranks gets +2 to attack rolls). Ranged weapon skills are DEX based; handheld skills are STR based. Some classes do not get Martial Weapons skills as class skills (TBD, but expect Wizard, Sorceror, and Cleric to have fewer weapons skills as class skills).

4. Fighters can take a skill for a specific weapon as a class skill. They add the full skill roll to their To-Hit roll (no -2 penalty). The category and specific weapon skills do NOT stack. Rangers can take a skill for a Ranged weapon as a class skill. All other classes can take specific weapon skills as cross-class skills*.

*mathetmatically you are better off improving the category skills, unless you use Talent (see 5, below).

5. A new feat is added called "Talent". It allows a player to take a cross-class skill and treat that skill as a class skill from the time the feat is taken, regardless of what classes the player advances in the future. (This is called "Hobby" in T20). (Hint: Think "Dodge").

6. All classes gain a base of 4 skill points plus their INT modifier. This allows warriors to buy weapon skills, and forces rogues to specialize (it takes a very smart burglar to be an expert trapspringer, lockpicker, acrobat and pickpocket all at the same time).